Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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