Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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