Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
