I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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