Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
