I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
