you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
