Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
