I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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