My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
