He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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