Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
