Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
