I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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