I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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