think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
