i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize