But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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