Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
