morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
