Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
