the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
