I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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