tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
