you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize