hotel room ftw
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize