My nipple is on Facebook.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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