also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
