Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the condom got lost in my hair
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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