This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
