Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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