Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
