Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she looked like the before picture.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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