This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
