Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
