I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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