She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
All I want is dick and wine.
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