hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
