Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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