i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
