I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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