I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize