You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
you never un-have a 4some
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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