Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
