two words: eviction party
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
