This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
