Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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