Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
