i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
