Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
