barbara walters just said penis...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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