i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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