he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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