Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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