this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
