Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
COCAINE IS GR8
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
