I need help removing her.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
