Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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