someone get that fucking seahorse.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
