Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
