laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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